Concessions Must Be Made

I knew this would happen, I just knew it.

So as I mentioned last post, I am leaving to travel very soon, I'm also planning - correction: was planning - on skipping my two classes on the week of the 18th to allow me to get more travel time in. I figured it'd be my only skipped class which would keep me above the mandatory 80% attendance level so no harm no fowl. Unfortunately I received an assignment (read: two assignments) today that are due in one of the classes I was going to skip. Bummer.

In class I said to myself, no problem, go home and do it right now. Well the necessary readings weren't posted until later that afternoon and they were long. Looks like this is going to take longer than I hoped. It isn't worth much but I'm not one to throw away grades, I wan'em all. What this means is that I will probably be traveling until the 17th, when I'll come back, work on my paper(s), hand them in and go again for 5 more days. This isn't really that impractical because the girl I am going to travel with is doing the exact same thing - she has a final exam, so in this way I will simply not have alone time, or extra time to sit in a field in Austria and just stare.

I was really upset about this earlier today. Then I thought to myself, I was never going to be able to see everything I wanted to, nor did I ever imagine I'd have had this much time to travel anyways. In that sense I'm very lucky. I'm also very lucky that the girl(s) I'm traveling with have the same schedule as me. So pretty much, this was how it was supposed to be. And that'll give me some time at home to do laundry, change out anything I don't need, and give me time to catch up on a group project and find out in my brother is actually coming in May (ahem, still waiting ;) ) and organize all that.

I guess I've decided to look at it like this, I came here for school, not just to travel around, take what I can get and be happy about it. Instead of being sad about what I can't do, I'll be ecstatic about what I can do.

I thought about taking my school work with me and working on my essay in some Starbucks or the like, I mean I did it in Mexico, I can do it here too right? But I remember how much I despised being stuck in a coffee shop for days working on a paper there, it would only add taint to my trip. Instead I'll have good school free days and hectic school full days at home. Yes, I'm content.

In other news I tried to go to the gym today. It only depresses me. Depresses and frustrates me, and angers me, and makes me feel hopeless. Ha. Wow, that is a plethora of bad things, but it is so true. I used to be able to run and lift more weights than other people, and be strong. Now every exercise I do holds this consequence of hours of pain and headaches. This is followed by people looking at me like a wuss, then incessantly telling me how I just need to be more active, because that helps everyone else, clearly I'm just not trying hard enough. That breaks my heart. I would like nothing more than to be able to do those things, I love those things. I've said in my head, and I'll say it here, if I ever get to a point that my back isn't an f'ing disaster I'm going to train and do some sort of long distance run, not a marathon because that's crazy! But maybe I'll start with a 10k and then do a half marathon. This seems like a goal I'll never achieve though. No one seems to know what's wrong with me and everyone seems to assume that I'm just not trying hard enough. Shitty.

Its been really rainy here for the past two days - especially when I am going/coming from/to class which is great because you show up soaking wet. Silly.

Otherwise things are fine, I'm keeping my mind focused on Monday when I'll be in the south of Portugal near a beach with my Mom. That'll be great. Until then I'll stick with my mood of discontent.